Divorce is very rarely a pleasant life event, but sometimes you can experience so much bitterness from your ex-spouse that it's hard to even manage your divorce settlement. When that happens, here are some things you can do to keep that negativity from coloring your divorce settlement.
Always Have a Mediator
When there is bitterness between spouses, it is important to always keep a mediator present for the discussions relating to a divorce settlement. That could be a close friend of both parties, or a third party such as a lawyer. Their job is just to make sure that the conversation doesn't veer off into a lot of negativity such as blaming, cursing, or otherwise discussing issues that are in the past now.
Make Sure Both Parties Have an Attorney
Both sides should seek out the counsel of an experienced family lawyer. This is actually better than if just one person has a divorce lawyer to consult them. When both people can speak with their lawyers, it helps to level the playing field and create a more fair environment. Both people will be advised on the best moves to make, legally, rather than being driven by the spite of making things difficult for their partner. Having divorce lawyers handle most of the grunt work of a divorce is just a way to make things simpler for everyone and get the issue resolved.
Use Others' Examples to Settle Disputes
It's hard for either side to be neutral about what they want from a divorce settlement and what they think is fair. For that, you might need to simply look at what's common with other couples who have gone through divorce. Ask your lawyers, do online research, and ask friends about how you can fairly split assets to lessen resentment between ex spouses.
And finally, part of the bitterness in the divorce may come from some blame or regrets. It's natural to feel sad about the divorce and even to blame or dislike yourself for the role that you played in the divorce. If you can work on being kind to yourself during this negative experience, that will help to ease the stress a lot. Taking time to yourself to do things you enjoy, get exercise, and get some fresh air will help you to appear in court with a more level head and to take the negativity in stride.
For more information and help, contact a divorce lawyer, such as those at Finocchio & English.